showering my thoughts with appreciation for these lessons, and for things i have yet to learn.
understanding that if i desire to grow, i must nurture
if i desire to learn, i must teach,
if i desire to be found, i must allow myself to seek

there is no right or wrong, only what i allow myself to perceive.
negative can be positive if that is how i allow it to be.
i can change the past with my attitude.
i can change the future with my intentions.
i can live in this moment and allow myself to grow.

breathe slow.

slipping through my fingers.
anticipating that kiss that hasn’t happened
enjoying it as the thought lingers.

curiosity often kills the cat
so i’m doing my best to decipher
cryptically straight forward answers.
perplexing brevity leaves me without clarity.

an unpredicted derelict fate
a vessel soon abandoned by both
without any hope or intention of returning
left with a sweet taste of yearning

i received your message
and learned my lesson
now my choices have left me discerning.
quick to understand
that as quickly as i’ve got it
its slipped out of my hand.

the future is unknowable,
but i don’t seek that insight.
i just want to open my heart
and let in more light.

to live freely.. wings open with uninhibited love and desire.
knowing that what is.. only is because i believe it to be.
my reality a realization of my mind’s fantasy.
manifestations of my truths..
i believe them to be as easily as one may believe them not to be.

love.. a vessel capable of healing all.
community.. a vessel capable of love
i believe in my illusion.
enthralled to be alive. curious of what comes after.

a true geek in all sense of the word..
it wants to know the answers which lead to more questions.
although confusion ensues all parts of this journey are embarked with a smile.
bumps making things in the night.
tinkering. diddeling
and i cannot see what my eyes are not ready to see

so.
more questions. more answers.
more questions. all in bliss.
there is no doubt that i am not following a map,
the cartographer of this path is within my finger tips.
tap tap.
building techniques.
gently crushing the structures beneath.
creating new depths of field
mapping photos.

controlled by the curious creature within.
the mechanics are not electric but melodic
layer upon layer of these layers
all controlling a separate movement.
“i’m a rainbow too” is maneuvering the smile which is directly linked to the bliss
with no cohesion
the connection between the two is not molecular..
it’s simply all an illusion..
one beautiful earthly illusion
powered by
desire
curiosity
sexuality
love
bliss
that little creature
melody
rhythm
chants
beat
“i’m a rainbow too”
a smile…
which in turn.. is all also an illusion.

i am making it and i am enjoying it.

He will be perfectly imperfect.. to me.
A creative spirit.. an artist.. always finding inspiration in the world around him, worlds unknown, and in worlds of the past. He would be of similar mindset as me when it comes to “work”.. we would find bliss in any journey we choose, but would not go about the world in any “normal” behavioral patterns. No 9-5 job to keep us limited. He would understand that it’s good to “be hungry” always searching for new and old to push us beyond our life limits.
he would sleep and wake with me as we were tired and awake, refusing the possibility of waking up at the same time every day to an alarm. In this way we would respect our bodies and their need to rest.
He would be connected to his body in many aspects. Listening to its animal urges and fuck me passionately whenever our hearts desired. I want a man who can look at me in line at the grocery store and decide he has to have me in the parking lot because home is a little bit TOO far away. There is no room for fear in a relationship with me.. there is just too much to enjoy about each other.
He would be my best friend. We would turn to one another to talk out our uncertainties and to relish in the golden light of another sunrise spent side by side. There would be no arguments or fights because fighting is simply lashing out your self doubts on an undeserving party. Communication would be the underlying foundation to our entire ralationship. Love, sex, decisions, simple things such as what to eat for breakfast or if he’s too tired to have sex.. all things big and small can avoid argument with proper communication and with each other we would learn the best way to communicate our needs and desires.
He would need to be open to whatever sexual exploits i wanted to delve in to. i would never make him take one for the team, but i will not let my sexuality be hindered by his insecurities or fears. In turn i would be open to his sexual desires. I’ve learned that sexual relationships take time to grow and you can’t always jump into something because you think it’s what the other person wants.. this is where the communication comes in again. I want to hear every though about what ever sexual pool we dive in to. Feelings don’t need to be hurt. I am aware that hormones can take over, and that is exactly why i want a man who will think not only of his own sexual desires but of mine as well.. in a few short words… i want a man who will worship me and my pussy and i will worship him and his cock : )

I don’t believe there is one most important thing to any relationship but sex is important to me as i am a ravenously sexual woman. I am also a giant internet loving geek so he would have to be ok with that too. No matter where we take our light in the world i would want to be capturing our adventures on video, blog post, podcast, photos, and web cam. He must certainly not be scared to show the world himself. I am me.. every day.. in all things i do in life and on the internet.. i am myself and i won’t hide it from the world.
Some may say this seems picky or demanding, but why would i settle for a guy who makes me sacrifice what makes me happy. I could be single forever or i could find a man who will not resist the bliss. I’m not afraid to be alone. I know there is a man (and a woman..) who can handle the NoPantsDance : )

Although this is a pretty lengthy answer i have kept things pretty vague. I’m not cataloging specifics.. height, weight, hair color, that is all blah blah blah. you never know who will love until you truly know that person. That will take time, but time is relevant and situational so i prefer to keep my eyes, ears, and heart open to whatever love the universe shows me.

does that answer? sort of? hahaa

when i am awake i dream..
open or closed my eyes process what i see. nose to smells. ears to sounds. body to feelings..
There is a world around me that i wasn’t aware of. Even when i was awake my channels were closed. i wasn’t allowing anything in.
but now..
I am finding inspiration from everything i focus on

a bird. a feather. a bolt. a breeze. a beat. a laugh.
light. sky. sun. trees. flowers blooming. stars dying. bees working. muscles twitching. a pet’s call for attention. colors changing. water moving. temperature rising. the earth cooling. warming. global interaction through the movement of molecules. nails growing. faces aging. bass pulsing. his voice. her voice. our voices blending together making the most blissful note. pitched perfectly to be heard only by those making it. inaudible to the world at large.
super power. layers upon layers building inspiration fitting together.. a puzzle with no picture on the box. always changing. malleable by thought.
instantaneous reaction. Electromagnetic forces forming molecules. exchanging love and light.
Transient blue-shifted absorption.
covalent bonds between strangers. a mysterious connection of love on a molecular level.
I may never know you but i love you. because we are connected through life and through death.. and because there is no greater thing in life to me than to give and receive love.

I’m slowly learning how to capture my inspiration and use it towards something that i can share. elated. life is a beautiful gift. the cycle of living and dying..
loving, giving, receiving.. all of the feelings, thoughts, and desires in between are bliss. so thankful!

What a beautiful day at the nude beach yesterday. we spent the afternoon in the sun, sand, and water waiting for the sun to get lower in the sky before we started @pmimmy’s bohocrush photo shoot. She is such a beautiful goddess.. so happy to get to know her.

Elated was the word of the day. exultant!

i can’t yet put words to where my bliss is leading .. all i can do is smile and share photos.
: ) #bliss

enjoy.

enjoy.

everything felt like magic!

Again.. it’s hard to get the beauty across with an iphone camera, but i feel the need to capture these moments of inspiration so that i may go back and reflect when i’m feeling stuck or need a reminder of where my bliss shines : )

Even the smallest things in nature bring me so much joy. I was so excited to see this little waterfall. I’ve been drawn to water lately.. calmed by it’s voice and soothed by it’s blanketing touch. Feeling new.

it was so inspiring to be out in nature today! I went on a hike with sho and g and it was just what i needed.  Surrounded by the life of  trees, birds, flowers, wild grasses, damp meadow floors, beautiful rainbow spectrum of flowers, and the buzz of tiny bugs going about their day.

I found a lot of inspiration from the fallen trees around me. The gentle giants who had met their maker and fallen to create more life. Each tree  trunk decomposing in geometric patters. cubes. smaller and smaller the longer it lays there. Some of them worn smooth by the weather creating a metallic almost silk texture that i could not capture in a photo. I brought my iphone and captured a few moments, but i appreciate the times when there is something so beautiful that you can only really experience their beauty in the moment with your eyes : )

Another moment of beauty. . sho & g: observing two people who are so in love was as breath taking as the meadow. They have so much warmth and bliss in their hearts it is truly a gift to be able to observe love at this level. Their bliss has been inspirational on my path and i am thankful to have their light in my life.

now that my mind is on this elated and fresh path i would love to know..
what about nature inspires you? feel free to leave a comment : ) I would LOVE to learn and share more.
when your brain is full and you need to reset. . what do YOU do for new inspiration? : )

love!